Who am I besides a mother, employee, friend, daughter, cook, significant other and so on?
I've been called mum, babe, Jade, Becky (my alter ego back when I was drinking... a story for another time), wife, ex-wife, drunk, problematic, strong, hot headed and crazy. Those are just some of the more civilized names and words that have described me, Natausha.
I ask myself often, who is Natausha? I often don't associate with that name because I don't even know who she is.
As I sit here writing, I can hear my two adorable kids laughing and playing on my bed. I am a mother to two smart, charismatic, outgoing kids and a common-law spouse to a kind, caring and empathetic man to whom I am thankful for on the reg.
As I re-read this, again and again, I notice that I introduce myself as a mother first and foremost. Always a mother and then a girlfriend but I am more than just a mother.
I am Natausha. I am a smart, career driven 29 year old who has gone through some seriously fucked up things in her life but someway, somehow, I've overcome each and every verbal, physical, emotional attack that has come my way.
Whether it's sexism, physical, verbal, emotional abuse, I've overcome it just like almost every woman in this world has had to do. Which, by the way, is extremely heart wrenching to know that, statistically speaking, 30% of all woman 15 years of age or older report that they have experienced sexual assault at least once by the age of 15 and that's only the woman who reported it which is not some easy task to check off their "to do" list.
I am Natausha. As I'm sure you may have began to put together, I have adult diagnosed ADHD. So please, bare with me guys as I try to navigate all the things I have in my big, smart, complex "mom brain".
I am going to circle back to who I am without all the other names and titles I've been given. I am Natausha, and I enjoy... ahh, the question I've been asking myself for years now. Of course there are things that I love to do and things that bring me joy but I've come to realize that I do not have any hobbies for myself. I'm so immersed in my children's life that I don't even know what I like. Crazy eh, how this is the way so many mothers feel on the daily.
I know one thing for certain, I love to write.
I don't know if I am any good at it, but fuck it right? I am more than just a mother. Maybe I am a writer, an artist, a creative 29 year old who wants to express herself or maybe I am a strong woman who's name is Natausha, who knows!
Hopefully you will continue to read and follow along as I try and breakdown who Natausha was and who Natausha is becoming.
It will be raw, unfiltered and probably a hot mess but such is life, right?
I am more than just a mother.
Today I am a breastfeeding, blog writing, coffee drinking Sagittarius. Who knows what version of myself I'll be tomorrow.